new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
