I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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