I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
