school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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