Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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