He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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