Duck Duck Cougar?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
