5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
