i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
