I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
