Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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