My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize