i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
