hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
