maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
