Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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