theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize
