I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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