The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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