Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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