If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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