i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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