He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
