I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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