I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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