We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
