Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dick very happy bro
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
