Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
