does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
