dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
