I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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