Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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