I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize