smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
