i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize