i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We are all done wearing pants today
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
