Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
