I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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