would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's blow job season.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
