I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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