You're earring is so big in my mouth
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
