i need an iv and a liver transplant
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize