Ambien. No doubt about it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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