Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
did i just pee glitter
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
