so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
