Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think i peed on brittanys purse
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
