i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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