Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
