Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
