Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
