So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
