I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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