I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
