I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The beer is more important than you right now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
