Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
