i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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