i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize