So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
