Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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