You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
